Ep 67 Asking for a Friend - in Midlife and Beyond

Transcript

Hey? Today I'm excited to welcome Michelle Folan.

She's a 26 year veteran of the health industry.

She's a sales leader, a coach, a self-professed, lifelong learner of I love her already, and the host of asking for a friend Podcast, you know, I can't wait to get into this conversation.

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But in her podcast, she likes to address topics important to women in midlife and beyond.

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Hey? More things in common. So Michelle is also the director of Field inside sales for Astro Pac Corporation that's based out of California and welcome.

Michelle. So glad you're here.

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Hillary. Thanks for having me. This is wonderful.

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Well, I think we could talk forever. But let's just go ahead and dig in.

What started you on your career from the well? Hmm! I'll have to edit that.

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That's okay. Tell me about your career and what you're doing today.

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Right now I am the Director of Inside sales for a company that does high purity, cleaning, and passivation.

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So it's that's kind of a long story.

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It's kind of nishy what we do, but I manage a team that is remote all over the country. So the nice thing about it is, I can live in Cincinnati and manage a team that are kind of spread out all over the place.

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Okay. So you could not necessarily a digital nomad, but remote working and having the freedom deliver.

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You want. I like that.

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Yeah, it's nice. And then I do get out and see customers.

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I go to trade shows and do spend time with the people on my team.

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But daily we're just remote on zoom, just like we are now.

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Well, I can't wait to understand the pivot. Because how do you go from your full-time job to making this creative pivot during the pandemic to start a podcast can you tell me about that?

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Well, alright! I hope you're sitting, cause it's a long story.

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Oh, -oh! I am sitting!

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But but I'll give you kind of the reader's Digest version.

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I I had been in the health industry for many, many years.

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Made a pivot back in like 2,011 or so, and worked for that company for I don't know a good 4, almost 5 years.

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And then there was an acquisition restructuring, and my job was eliminated.

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So first time I'd ever lost a job per se.

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Okay.

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The interesting thing was, you know, I was in my mid fiftys.

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So at the time, and 6 weeks later Covid hit.

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Yeah. And so I was in a full on job search during a global pandemic.

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Wow!

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That's how.

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Which has its challenges right? But what's interesting about that time, even though you know, it was really sucky for everyone that time was in a way kind of serendipitous that it happened when it did, because it really did give me some time to think about what I really wanted to do what

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was really important to me, and I know I could have gone back and gotten a position in my previous industry.

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Probably no problem. But it didn't feel right, and maybe, had I been 20 or 30 years old I would have done just that.

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But at my end I thought, you know what.

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I need to really think about this and be intentional.

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Yes, intention is everything.

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It really is, and you know it. The job market was really terrible.

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During that time there weren't a lot of people hiring.

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So I really used that time to be introspective, focus on my health.

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You know, exercise a lot, and I think at 1 point I just decided I'm handing this over to God, and I just need to go with the flow here because I felt that if I was trying to force something, I was gonna end up you know, kind of going from the fat to the firing pan

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so, as things would have it, I also started thinking about.

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Would I be truly happy? Just like working? Was there something else missing?

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Hmm!

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Hey? Just you know just how you think. What am I really passionate about?

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And it was during the pandemic when I started listening to podcasts, I had never you, too, huh!

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Me, too, yeah, for sure.

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Me, neither.

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So I had never listened to a podcast before, never had time.

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It was working, traveling 2, 3 days a week, and.

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I thought, this is really interesting. And there was one podcast. In particular that I listened to, and I actually have had her on my podcast.

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And I thought, you know, with my background, in the health, industry, and my love of talking to people, why couldn't I do this?

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Exactly.

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And so I formulated my plan. But then I got a job.

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So. So I'm like, well, you know.

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Probably not a great time to be starting a podcast, when you have a brand new job.

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Yes.

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The optics on that would be very poor, and so the job that I got it was just, you know how, when you're in an interview, or you're talking to someone, and you just have that immediate connection, hey?

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You feel this vibe about the company, and then everyone I spoke excite, interviewed with 4 or 5 people.

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Throughout the interviewing process every single person I'm like what a great person!

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What it. Just what a nice company this is! And it took almost a months, but it was so worth it.

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You mean? The hiring process took 11 months. Oh!

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Yeah, yeah. I mean, not the hiring process, but it took 11 months, because it.

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You know it's a during Covid, so wasn't until December of 2020 that I found it a position.

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So, yeah.

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Oh, okay, it wasn't that. Their interview and hiring process took that long.

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But your search process. Oh!

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Yeah, yeah. And that was okay, right? Because I landed in a great place.

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Then I you know, really wanted to give this job a 110%.

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And then, as I got more comfortable with the position that yearning to do the podcast, bubble back up.

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And I. I told some people that I was going to do it, and there's that whole premise of if you tell people you're going to do something, it's as I say, it's like throwing a ball over a fence.

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You can't go get it. So I had to do it.

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Well, I like it. I like it very much, and I believe in that wholeheartedly.

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I just told someone today, because I'm about to take a spiritual sabbatical for 10 weeks.

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And they said, Oh, what are you doing during that time? I said, Well, I don't know for sure, but I'm going to submit.

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Those first 3 chapters of a book to publish, because I've been sitting on them for years.

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And.

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So I love when we say it out loud. We are so much closer to making it happen.

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Yeah, and it's also there's some other things involved here.

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Hillary as well is that we have to put that fear of failure aside, and when you say you're going to write a book, you know, there's all kinds of emotion that comes with that, because you're putting yourself out there to be reviewed and criticized.

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By other people, and I think is midlife. Women.

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Taking a step back and saying Who am I doing this for?

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I'm doing this for me right? And and then what I hope is that somebody else, one other person, maybe 10 other people.

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We'll find some joy in it or benefit from it. And I think that's the perspective we have to take when we take risks and put ourselves out there.

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Yeah, well, absolutely. And because I've had this particular book on my heart for so long.

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One of the things that freed me up was, it might not be the only book I ever write, and you know what there's a lot more than just writing the book.

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It's getting it published and getting it marketed and sold.

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It's a huge process. It's like giving birth, you know, all over again.

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And so realizing that the people that we are serving, they need us they're waiting for us.

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They're waiting for the podcast. To hear that message that they can do this.

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They're waiting to know that other people are afraid and we're moving forward anyway.

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So when did you start your podcast?

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Okay.

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I almost a year ago, and I just did a Instagram real.

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I haven't put it out yet, but it's about.

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Oh, my gosh! It's been a year! And what I started out to do was really it was a creative pivot for me as a like a creative outlet.

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But what I have found, Hillary, is that I'm interviewing these women, and I meant to, but mostly women.

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My men are hearing these women who are doing amazing thanks they're in their fifties and sixties, and there, you know, going on a a diet pilgrimage basically.

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And and getting themselves in shape. They're writing books. They're starting coaching businesses.

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They are amazing and inspiring, and I am so fortunate that I'm getting to meet these people.

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And then the other side of that is the health and wellness, focus.

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That is near and dear to my heart, and you know I call it asking for a friend, because if I have a guest expert that's coming, say, it's an specializes in hormones, I'll ask people, hey?

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What questions would you have for this expert? And I was pleasantly surprised.

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The people will ask questions, and, you know, put themselves out there, because I often think that women are hesitant to have these conversations with their own doctor, because they don't know what to ask.

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Absolutely. I have an episode coming up on that where I interviewed my own surgeon.

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And I said, Okay, Doc, what do you want women to know to ask?

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So I love that you are giving people the opportunity kind of for that anonymous submission.

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And that's so, key, because you can't just rely on asking your girlfriend or a sister, or if if you do, still have a parent around, so we need to be able to advocate for ourselves.

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But if we don't know what questions to ask, it makes it really, really difficult for sure.

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Hmm!

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There's the other aspect, too, of this I'll call it Invisible Woman syndrome, and that starts to creep in, and midlife as well, because we are trying to define who we are.

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You know we were defined as mothers, caretakers, you know.

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Chef, you know, housewife, whatever it is.

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And then, as we go through these live transitions, you know what is our passion in life, what?

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What is it that gets us out of bed in the morning?

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And that's another big topic in the podcast.

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And I think you cover that too. I mean, it's.

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We do. I talk a lot about identity, and taking that time for a reset and reflection absolutely so.

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I love that we're both concerned about the health and the wellness of the woman in their body, in their mind, and in their spirit, which I think for me it just makes it fascinating of how that body mind spirit impacts our business and whether it's a paid position a volunteer position a podcast if

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we don't have those foundational components of health.

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What does that do? Yeah.

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Yeah, I. The other thing is being a stay home.

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Mom, being a housewife, is a hard job, and when that woman says, I want to go out and do something.

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Yeah.

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I never want a woman to minimize that experience, because that is valuable.

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Experience, those are people I wanna hire because I know they're organized.

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They they can get shit done, I mean, I think you know what I mean.

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And so they should be proud of their their history.

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And what they've done.

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Absolutely. And I think there's that value in saying it out loud.

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If you're a woman and you're over 40, over 50, over 60 and you say I don't wanna do this, I can tell you.

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It's possible. And you might need someone or a tribe of women to come alongside you and say, Hey, this is how I did it.

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I want more women's voices to be elevated.

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I want more women to know that they can do whatever their dream is.

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Yeah.

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Write a book, start a podcast, become a whole new career. It's work.

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It's not. There's not a shortcut to it, but it's possible.

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It's never too late.

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Well, that brings me to the next question, what your platform asking for a friend?

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What's your main goal for midlife? Women outside of the health and wellness that you were just talking about?

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Oh, I really just want women to value this time of life, midlife is a great time of life, and we deal with menopause.

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And you know, hormone fluctuations and no hormones, and all of that.

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The health stuff.

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But we are in control, we have to ask the questions we have to take care of ourselves.

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We have to put ourselves first, you know you. My favorite saying of all time is, you gotta put your oxygen mask on first before you can show up for others, and we're living longer than we ever have. And I mean we could be around for another 30 years what do you want those 30 years to look like.

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Yeah, we could be around for 30 to 50 years. I mean, really.

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Yeah, who knows? Right?

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And I think it's it's such a key message, because we are at a very exciting time where people are talking about mental health.

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They are talking about self-care. We are talking about.

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We are going to live longer. How do we want to feel and think and live?

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And what changes do we need to tweak in our diet, in our exercise, in our choices?

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Right. And you know I want to be able to get up off the floor, which I know sounds like something small.

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What I cannot tell you and my own mother included, that had that, you know, unfortunate fall didn't hurt anything, didn't break anything.

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But truly could not get back up!

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Absolutely.

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And that is something that can be preventable if we start acting now.

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And that's what I want to get across to my listeners.

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Fantastic, because getting up off the floor is not to be minimized.

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I'm an occupational therapist professionally.

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So helping people get off the floor is something that we train, and I've even run across strangers while driving across Kansas and this woman could not get up off the floor.

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And so I asked her daughter, would you like me to help?

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You just knowing that a lot of people are going to be afraid of that.

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Yeah, yeah.

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But we got her off the floor, but there were some serious concerns that were outside of that, but any I love that you are a voice for women that you can do this.

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Is there anything else you want to share about? Who mentored you through your journey through midlife?

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Well, you know that's kind of interesting, because I was not one to reach out for help past, because I always thought I had all the answers.

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I'm at 3 on the Enneagram, and it's that I want.

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I think I want people to have this feeling that I'm I'm successful, and that I'm you know, competent in all those things but it wasn't until I don't know I was going to do the podcast.

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And it. I was unemployed at the time, and I did reach out to women who were very knowledgeable in their different fields to get their input on doing the podcast and some of that was just a vote of confidence right that hey?

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I'm doing the right thing. Yes, yes, you can do this.

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You'll be successful, but also to get their input and advice.

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And that felt really good. Like, I like this networking stuff, and I did more of it in.

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You know my process of looking for a job as well. So now that's opened up the door to me.

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Where I want to network with other women. I want to have connections with new women that are new to my life. And so a lot of great things came out of that.

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Fantastic. I'm all about connection, and I think sometimes some people think of networking as a dirty word or a well, you're just trying to get me to promote you, and I'm like No, no, I'm talking about like connecting and genuinely meeting people that you want

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to connect with and want to refer, because you've had a positive experience with them, or you really know the results that they get. So I am thrilled that it's not a dirty word for you.

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No, and here's the other thing, too, Hillary, you have a podcast.

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For midlife, women. I have a podcast for midlife.

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Women, and we're not the only ones, right?

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Absolutely.

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There's plenty out there. There is room at the table for everyone, and I wanna be supportive of other women, no matter who they are, and I don't look at them as competition.

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I try to learn from them and try to make money better.

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Well, absolutely, because there's more than one coffee shop in every town.

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There's more than one pizza place more than one ice cream shop, you know, and the more places we make for women at the table.

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Then the more women we reach. There's hundreds of millions of women in the world.

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So there's a lot of work to be done, so I'm glad that we can come together for that.

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Agreed.

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Well, I had some really fun questions to ask you, and let's see what is your favorite word.

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I like the word. Yes, cause I don't like it when anyone tells me no.

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Oh, now, how do you do? Though saying no to others? So you say yes to yourself.

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I don't like saying no to other people either.

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Oh, oh, okay.

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But I'm getting better at it.

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Okay.

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So that's the whole setting boundary space that I think we all have had to learn as we've gotten older.

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We are. That's right, I'm kind of hoping that elementary schools start teaching boundaries and healthy thinking, because, wouldn't that save us a lot of work instead of waiting until we're twenties, thirties forties and 50 to to start young that's awesome really good so

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Yeah.

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what is your least favorite word? Then Michelle?

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I think can't, because I I think, even as we get to where we are in life, to say I can't do something feel so limiting to me, and I don't like it.

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When my children say can't, and oh, I can't, mom, I I can't do that.

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I'm like, what do you mean? Can't you know?

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So, but it goes for us adults, too.

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Right.

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Yeah, there might be another way to say that if, like, you know not not right now, or that might not be the best choice for me right now, or I can't imagine how that's gonna turn out.

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Could you help me? I think there are a lot of other ways.

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Yeah, exactly.

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Oh, good! Well, I think let's see, I think this has been a fantastic conversation, and I'm so grateful. So, Michelle, how can people find you?

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Well, they can find me at asking for a friend. Underscore Pod on Instagram, or asking for a front pod on Facebook.

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And then the podcast, is available on all the platforms.

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So anywhere, you would find your podcast you can find asking for a friend.

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There are a few other podcast, with the same name. But if you just look from my picture, you will find it, and then you can also find me on bus route.

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So it's asking for a friend. Dot buzz sprout.com.

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Awesome. So I think my big takeaways from today are tell people that you're gonna do it, name it, claim it, say it out loud, put the fear of failure aside because you're just gonna go for it, and you're gonna be helping other people and let's see ask the question so

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that we can take care of ourselves or make sure we're taking our care of ourselves and make sure we're asking the questions.

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Absolutely.

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Fantastic. Well, Michelle, I'm so glad to meet you, and I feel like I'm asking for a friend just talking to you.

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So thanks so much for joining us at Hill, Talks.

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